You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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