I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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