we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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