Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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