actually, I'm a sock model
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
