fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
