P.S. I can't hear my feet
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
