dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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