i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
