I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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