There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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