How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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