Me. At least after what I've been through.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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