belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
