Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
