Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize