Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
