from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize