so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
