No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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