belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
