It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
