The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
