Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
