we need to drink 2009 down the drain
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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