I want to make a zoo with you.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
