I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize