the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
