Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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