I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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