ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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