the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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