Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
