fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
