i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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