put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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