In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
