Im at strip club and am horny
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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