He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
