Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
