Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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