You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
