You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
