What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
