i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
