so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
