I wanna passion pit in your ass
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
