there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize