ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
