i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
