I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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