I showed him my bush... on skype.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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