she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
