I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
