how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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