dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
