Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
