he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This baby is an asshole
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
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