Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
