I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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