Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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