Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You ate ashes out of my bong
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
