how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
