You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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