he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
