Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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