You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
