The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize