im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
