OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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