he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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