all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
